Nobody told me

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Nobody told me keeping my mother’s corpse in the cellar and murdering guests was against the rules, insists Norman Bates.​

A killer and former owner of the lowest TripAdvisor rated motel in America has claimed that nobody warned them their acts weren’t allowed, according to reports.

Norman Bates, a well-spoken, seemingly intelligent person, admitted to stabbing a young lady to death in the shower and then murdering a private detective a few days later, but is now claiming that he wasn’t aware it was illegal at the time.

Speaking to a nurse at the asylum in which he is imprisoned, he explained, “Despite having a few misgivings at the time that repeatedly stabbing an innocent woman to death and then murdering a detective in a similar fashion whilst dressed as my mother might not have been quite within the realms of legality, I have to claim ‘guilty but ignorant’ on the matter.

“If only someone had pulled me to one side and said ‘Look, friend, I’m really not sure that keeping your mother’s corpse in the fruit cellar and wildly stabbing people at random is quite within the parameters of the law’ then perhaps I may have hesitated and not indulged myself, however fun and borderline sexually Freudian it was for me at the time.”

The plea has led to a slew of similar admissions from other public figures, including Jordan Belfort, who has claimed that nobody warned him that money laundering, cocaine, and blowjobs from prostitutes while driving were illegal, and the family of Tony Montana, who claim he had no idea that drug dealing and murder were frowned upon by police.

via ~ DailyPretendYouDon'tKnow

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Nobody told me it was against the rules, insists Prince Andrew​

Prince Andrew has decided his main defence allegations of sex with underage trafficked women is that he didn’t know it was against the rules.

Andrew, who is facing civil charges in the United States over allegations he had sex with trafficked girls, has decided that the best defence is to say he had no idea what he was was doing was wrong.

Royal correspondent Simon Smythe-Williams told us, “I’ll be honest, I think it’s a bold move. Just outright admitting that you did something wrong, but then pretending you didn’t know it was wrong when you did, and believing this means you can’t be held accountable.

“It’s such a wildly implausible position to take, I can’t understand where he got the idea this might work? There is no walk of life in which ignorance of the rules is a defence against breaking the rules.

“If you ask a room full of people whether it’s ok to have sex with young women brought to you by a convicted sex trafficker, I’m going to guess that 99% of them will immediately think ‘no, that isn’t ok’.

“So no, I don’t think this is a defence that will work. On the plus side, at least he’s not claiming he didn’t know the rules that he himself implemented. You’d have to be a complete simpleton or some sort of sociopath to think that would work.”

via ~ DailyNonce