My nanny always told me that if you stand up to bullies

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I'd have fought the Taliban with my bare hands, says silly-haired backbench Tory MP


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A backbench Tory MP has excoriated the Afghan people for not starting a fist fight with the Taliban as he would have done in their position.

Norman Steele, whose hair looks like he was in Kajagoogoo, used the emergency parliamentary debate to criticise a nation who seem to have learned nothing of British spunk.

Steele said: “My nanny always told me that if you stand up to bullies they will very quickly back down. I think the Afghan people should have done the same.''

“The difference between the coward and a hero like me is that the coward takes flight. I would square up and say ‘Come on then, you curs! Put down those AK-47s, let’s see how you fare in an honest scrap.’'

“I guarantee that once they saw the cut of my jib and the jut of my chin, they would have turned tail and fled, probably crying out ‘Aiieeeee!’

“I do not think such spineless people should be allowed to apply for asylum in the UK. After all, now that we’ve left the EU, what use would they be in any future war against France, or Belgium?”


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