Mobile heating units

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Boris Johnson launches new mobile heating units for destitute pensioners​

Prime Minister Boris Johnson used his interview with Susanna Reid this morning to launch a new government initiative aimed at helping destitute pensioners stay warm during the energy crisis.

Johnson explained that thanks to the free bus-pass given to pensioners, they are able to leave their freezing homes and enjoy a free trip around the capital to warm themselves whenever they see fit.

The prime minister explained, “We’re not just giving these desperate people heating, we’re bringing the heating to them – well, to their nearest bus stop.

“Don’t worry if you can’t afford to put the heating on in your flat, simply put in a coat and wander to the nearest bus stop, jump on any bus – any one you like – and take a seat next to one of the heaters, completely free of charge.

“There is no need for ANY pensioners to sit at home in the cold when they could be warming themselves while being driven aimlessly around the city.

“Think of it like sight-seeing, but with the added benefit of avoiding hypothermia.”

Johnson went on to explain that his government was pledging 8,000 new buses to the scheme, but when pressed for details it appeared the 8,000 buses are the ones already in circulation.

He went on, “Yes, but we’re not going to decommission those 8,000 buses, so that means we can count them as ‘new’, even though they already exist and are being driven on our roads right now. That’s how government accounting works, you wouldn’t understand it, it’s very complicated.

“I dream of a day when our capital’s buses are full, absolutely full, of smiling pensioners delighted to be out of their damp and cold homes, enjoying a brief glimpse of how the rest of us who don’t worry about our bills actually live.”

Via ~ DailyDesperation

 

[SamBally]

Ditto!!

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Ditto!!

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

The Telegraph view -​

Why we must stop pensioners stealing warm air on buses.​

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Warm air costs money. It is not there for old people to bask luxuriously in on frivolous all-day bus journeys, with the pathetic excuse that their homes are cold and they might die.

Virtue-signalling celebrities like Susanna Reid might feel sorry for ‘Elsie’, but let’s call this what it is – theft, no different to raiding a jeweller’s shop and bludgeoning the owner in a frenzied attack with a claw hammer, leaving them with life-changing injuries.

I’ve got some questions for Elsie. Why can’t she afford heating? Is she spending her generous state pension on bingo and cigarettes? What’s wrong with putting eight jumpers on? Why not keep warm by burning your furniture and old photos?

Most saliently, why didn’t she get better results at school that would have led to a highly-paid job and a 40k pension? I’m not expecting an answer from Elsie, just demands for more handouts. I expect she’s got a pricey hip replacement and the latest angina pills on her shopping list next.

Buses are for poor but productive people to get to their soul-destroying jobs. Elsie seems to think buses are there for anyone who wants to use them. She’s enjoyed a long and happy life, compared to someone in the Dark Ages, with all the latest gadgets and luxuries – indoor toilets, anaesthetic, shoes – and still she wants more.

It seems everyone is entitled these days. First it was the millennials, but now they’re safely on a treadmill of debt and extortionate rents we must find new hate figures to keep everyone riled up and voting Conservative.

Some might call me uncaring. Some would say I’ve gone a bit crazed with right-wing dogma. But I have no hesitation in saying this: die, Elsie, die. Get yourself to a euthanasia clinic. And if you can’t do the right thing, the government should.

via ~ DailyDeaths