TwoWhalesInAPool
UKChat Celebrity
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2018
- Messages
- 3,957
- Reaction score
- 2,387
My dear @LadyOnArooftop
.
If we can be arsed, and/or have the time, to counter the considerable amount of word salad twaddle being flung, corner to corner, across the bored[sic], perhaps you and I having a diary conversation, as in the manner of Private Eye, could be a ridiculous way forward.
We are better than this!
.
Diary entry 1:
.
Dear LOART, my friend,
Today is the 9th of May, a day celebrated by those who remember that the United States House Committee on the Judiciary began formal and public impeachment hearings against President Richard Nixon on May 9, 1974, as part of the Watergate scandal.
Anyway, more importantly, the flock of seals outside my underwater window seem to be rehearsing for a synchronised flying competition. I swear they are forming geometric shapes just to taunt my artistic talent. It’s also the day I discovered that an indoor seaweed plant has decided to launch a silent rebellion, leaning dramatically towards the window like a UKChatForum 'maiden' longing for freedom. I suppose I should water it, or write it some poetry.
Decisions, decisions.
Anyway, I do hope your 9th of May is less dramatic and that your houseplants remain loyal.
Yours, ever bemused,
TWIAP
And, here, for further amusement is a Private Eye crossword.
No. 803 by Cyclops, Issue 1648
Across
7 DRILL AROUND GREENLAND'S TIP! – one of Trump's preoccupations (6)
8 Guiding principle has Democrat on notice perhaps around Republican (8)
10 Campish habit? (4,5)
11 A strict believer in truth as 'idiotic' (5)
12 Knocked back one adult drink like a military type (7)
14/6/22dn. Shroud to go here? Never! (4,2,4,4)
17 Nothing gained by "hot and cold" Truss's comeback? (5)
18 Bribe disheartened bobby to trap union leader (3)
19 Wrong robots etc for the occupied territory (5)
20 Is put off by dickhead's rash (6)
21 Appreciative communication from cooler: "Bloke's sound" (3,4)
22 Dotty's through squeezing member! (5)
24 Puzzle lacking? Don't mention it! (2,7)
26 Forced Leeds, etc. to ditch candidate (8)
27 Let's wave on having sex (6)
Down
1 Press often played with by Trump (4)
2 Conservatives unhappy with 9/18's editorial craft? (10)
3 Woeful tale of b4stards (Conservative) (3,5)
4 "Yen's in shlt" – China (4)
5 A craving to snap: "Dom is a pain!" (10)
6 See 14ac.
7 Like the politician's reductive announcements of crunch measure? (4-4)
9/18dn. Demonic Bake-off host, at first a staunch right-winger (4,8)
13 Putin's thing: breaking arms limit, crushing independence (10)
15 Ex-president's ire seen to explode on taking question (10)
16 A PM told off on accepting Cyclops as moderator (8)
18 See 9dn.
21 Goes limp – Labour leader quits, so swells (4)
22 See 14ac.
23 Screw up by English university (4)
25 By which a celeb might get around making millions in fuel hike (4)
.
If we can be arsed, and/or have the time, to counter the considerable amount of word salad twaddle being flung, corner to corner, across the bored[sic], perhaps you and I having a diary conversation, as in the manner of Private Eye, could be a ridiculous way forward.
We are better than this!
.
Diary entry 1:
.
Dear LOART, my friend,
Today is the 9th of May, a day celebrated by those who remember that the United States House Committee on the Judiciary began formal and public impeachment hearings against President Richard Nixon on May 9, 1974, as part of the Watergate scandal.
Anyway, more importantly, the flock of seals outside my underwater window seem to be rehearsing for a synchronised flying competition. I swear they are forming geometric shapes just to taunt my artistic talent. It’s also the day I discovered that an indoor seaweed plant has decided to launch a silent rebellion, leaning dramatically towards the window like a UKChatForum 'maiden' longing for freedom. I suppose I should water it, or write it some poetry.
Decisions, decisions.
Anyway, I do hope your 9th of May is less dramatic and that your houseplants remain loyal.
Yours, ever bemused,
TWIAP
And, here, for further amusement is a Private Eye crossword.
No. 803 by Cyclops, Issue 1648
Across
7 DRILL AROUND GREENLAND'S TIP! – one of Trump's preoccupations (6)
8 Guiding principle has Democrat on notice perhaps around Republican (8)
10 Campish habit? (4,5)
11 A strict believer in truth as 'idiotic' (5)
12 Knocked back one adult drink like a military type (7)
14/6/22dn. Shroud to go here? Never! (4,2,4,4)
17 Nothing gained by "hot and cold" Truss's comeback? (5)
18 Bribe disheartened bobby to trap union leader (3)
19 Wrong robots etc for the occupied territory (5)
20 Is put off by dickhead's rash (6)
21 Appreciative communication from cooler: "Bloke's sound" (3,4)
22 Dotty's through squeezing member! (5)
24 Puzzle lacking? Don't mention it! (2,7)
26 Forced Leeds, etc. to ditch candidate (8)
27 Let's wave on having sex (6)
Down
1 Press often played with by Trump (4)
2 Conservatives unhappy with 9/18's editorial craft? (10)
3 Woeful tale of b4stards (Conservative) (3,5)
4 "Yen's in shlt" – China (4)
5 A craving to snap: "Dom is a pain!" (10)
6 See 14ac.
7 Like the politician's reductive announcements of crunch measure? (4-4)
9/18dn. Demonic Bake-off host, at first a staunch right-winger (4,8)
13 Putin's thing: breaking arms limit, crushing independence (10)
15 Ex-president's ire seen to explode on taking question (10)
16 A PM told off on accepting Cyclops as moderator (8)
18 See 9dn.
21 Goes limp – Labour leader quits, so swells (4)
22 See 14ac.
23 Screw up by English university (4)
25 By which a celeb might get around making millions in fuel hike (4)
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I couldn't even understand the cryptic clues! 