Is your garden middle class?

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Is your garden middle-class enough to impress and intimidate your neighbours?​

Find out in our quiz:

Your shed is:

A. A ‘garden room’ that cost £20k, has Hague Blue walls, bifold doors and enough space for Noah to do his cello practice.

B. A ramshackle little hut full of spiders and broken strimmer's left by the previous owners that I can’t be arsed to sort out.

How do you feel about your garden?

A. It’s an extension of my living space and allows me to be an aspirational wanker in the great outdoors.

B. It’s a garden.

What do you consider essential in a garden?

A. Something that shows the plebs next door that we are wealthier than them, such as a pizza oven or patio heater.

B. Some green stuff. Could be grass and bushes, or the mouldering rolls of discarded carpet I’ve been meaning to take to the dump for several years.

Do you have any indulgent bits of unnecessary kit taking up space?

A. If I’m honest, we haven’t used the pizza oven or patio heater since last year. But the garden is huge because we live in a detached house, so it doesn’t really matter.

B. The MK2 Golf GTI sitting on bricks takes up most of the garden. However, the kids enjoy playing The Fast and The Furious in it so it’s win-win really.

Do you encourage wildlife?

A. Lottie made a bee hotel at her Montessori nursery and we’re going to replace the the fence with a native shrub hedgerow at vast expense so we can virtue signal about the importance of reversing habitat loss.

B. Yes, we allow Liam from next door to sleep on the sun lounger overnight when he’s lost his keys on the way back from the pub.

Answers:

Mostly As: Your garden goes far beyond being sufficiently middle class and has become nauseatingly middle class. Which it should be, because you paid the gardener an eye-watering amount to make it so.

Mostly Bs: Because you don’t give a toss about it, your garden is full of nettles and brambles, making it a haven for wildlife. You are heroically fighting biodiversity loss by doing fvck all.

Is your garden sufficiently middle class?

IS your garden middle-class enough to impress and intimidate your neighbours? Find out in our quiz:

www.thedailymash.co.uk

Shame others. Leave your answers below.

 

[LadyOnArooftop]

You can impress the neighbours too much...
One woman was left gobsmacked after discovering her neighbours were using her garden whilst she was at work. The woman made the discovery when she decided to install an outdoor camera after noticing cigarette butts in her garden. She checked the camera and the neighbours had climbed the wall and been sitting in the garden from 2 pm until 8 pm using her seating and table.

 

[Ingrid1965]

Is your garden middle-class enough to impress and intimidate your neighbours?​

View attachment 4654

Find out in our quiz:

Your shed is:

A. A ‘garden room’ that cost £20k, has Hague Blue walls, bifold doors and enough space for Noah to do his cello practice.

B. A ramshackle little hut full of spiders and broken strimmer's left by the previous owners that I can’t be arsed to sort out.

How do you feel about your garden?

A. It’s an extension of my living space and allows me to be an aspirational wanker in the great outdoors.

B. It’s a garden.

What do you consider essential in a garden?

A. Something that shows the plebs next door that we are wealthier than them, such as a pizza oven or patio heater.

B. Some green stuff. Could be grass and bushes, or the mouldering rolls of discarded carpet I’ve been meaning to take to the dump for several years.

Do you have any indulgent bits of unnecessary kit taking up space?

A. If I’m honest, we haven’t used the pizza oven or patio heater since last year. But the garden is huge because we live in a detached house, so it doesn’t really matter.

B. The MK2 Golf GTI sitting on bricks takes up most of the garden. However, the kids enjoy playing The Fast and The Furious in it so it’s win-win really.

Do you encourage wildlife?

A. Lottie made a bee hotel at her Montessori nursery and we’re going to replace the the fence with a native shrub hedgerow at vast expense so we can virtue signal about the importance of reversing habitat loss.

B. Yes, we allow Liam from next door to sleep on the sun lounger overnight when he’s lost his keys on the way back from the pub.

Answers:

Mostly As: Your garden goes far beyond being sufficiently middle class and has become nauseatingly middle class. Which it should be, because you paid the gardener an eye-watering amount to make it so.

Mostly Bs: Because you don’t give a toss about it, your garden is full of nettles and brambles, making it a haven for wildlife. You are heroically fighting biodiversity loss by doing fvck all.

Is your garden sufficiently middle class?

IS your garden middle-class enough to impress and intimidate your neighbours? Find out in our quiz:

www.thedailymash.co.uk

Shame others. Leave your answers below.

I have a Balcony.... Sing Me a Serenade.... Oh Solo Mio

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

 

[Poco_Loco]

I often take naked baths in my neighbours hot tub and my drones watch for their returning motor

Ps , send your own drones to spy on me but my drones are heavily armed ....

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

I often take naked baths in my neighbours hot tub and my drones watch for their returning motor

Ps , send your own drones to spy on me but my drones are heavily armed ....

I Googled 'bathing naked in a jacuzzi' to get a photo I could post.

Anyway, I cant!