Introduce a real Living Wage.

[SamBally]

People might or might not already be aware that the Tory Party version of the 'living wage', which they mention quite frequently, including a lot today on various news platforms, is not actually the official Living Wage.

Introduce a real Living Wage, you charlatans.

Ideally, no working man or woman should be reliant on any welfare top-ups to subsidize low wages. Big business should not be the beneficiary of any government handouts at all, including subsidies and various tax breaks. Big business should NOT be subsidized by the state and not a single penny of OUR tax should find its way into shareholders' pockets.

There is no "trickle-down". The ideological footprint of 'capitalism'. It all trickles up, 80% of the world's wealth into the hands of 1%.

 

[SamBally]

Thanks for the support comrade!

Workers around the world unite!

 

[SamBally]

Lidl can only afford living wage because of their extortionate pricing, insist business leaders.​

Supermarket chain Lidl has come under fire from business leaders who say they can only afford to pay staff the living wage because they are obviously ripping off the consumer.

After Lidl said it would start paying their staff the minimum wage as recommended by the Living Wage Foundation, business groups said the move was clearly only possible because the consumer is being ripped off with sky-high prices.

Businessman Simon Williams told us, “No normal business can afford to pay its workers that sort of wage rate, not without the customer having to pay a lot more for their products – and do you really want that?”

“Where do you want all that extra money to go? Into the pockets of the shop-floor staff, or do you want it to stay in your pocket, as the consumer.”

“Because let me assure you, there is no third choice about where all the money goes when you walk into a business, it’s one of those two, and anyone who says different is definitely lying.”

The move has received a warm welcome from staff and customers alike, and Lidl has sought to explain their policy change.

A spokesperson for the supermarket chain told reporters, “Yeah, we thought about it, and we decided that when it comes to our employee’s wages and helping them stay above the poverty line, it’s probably best not to be pricks about it.”

“We can afford to pay this higher rate even with the meager margins we make when we sell you tins of beans and our own-brand lager for tuppence apiece.”

“So I guess either our business model is orders of magnitude more efficient than those run by those other business leaders, or they’re just being arseholes about it.”

“Take your pick.”

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

'If I was Ed Miliband right now I’d call a press conference and simply sit there and eat a massive bacon sandwich as chaotically as I could.' -ab

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Tax-dodging rich pricks shocked to discover many of their advisors moonlight as British MPs​

In tax havens across the world, avaricious scumbags have expressed anger that the British toffs they hired to give respectability to their blatantly criminal activities have also been quietly earning £80,000 a year as backbenchers in the UK.

Simon Williams, a Bahamian government minister who owns 700 companies with no employees, was furious that his legal consultant was frequently jetting off to Devon to pretend to give a sh** about voters.

He told us, “I pay him £400,000 a month to explain to the Foreign Office why every minister in our government has somehow accrued multi-million dollar fortunes despite being on a nominally low salary.

“For that sort of money, I expect his full attention. If the people in Tavistock want his expertise, they can bloody well provide a beachfront bungalow with a room mocked-up to look like a Westminster office.”

Amanda Tinnock, a Panama-based ‘facilitator’ who is also an MP for some northern English town where she now owns a holiday cottage, defended the actions of her peers and said that tax-evaders benefited from their advisors getting political experience in London.

She went on, “It’s vital that public school types who set up sanction-busting shell companies for arms dealers do not get stuck in a bubble of corruption, tropical paradises and prostitutes on yachts.

“It’s also important to highlight that being a Conservative MP is not a time-consuming business. You basically need to show up about four times a year to bray like a twat because Boris needs a boost. There’s also signing off claims for expenses but now you can just fax those from Tortuga thanks to COVID.

“Constituents? No. Outside of election years you never have to meet them, thank Christ.”

via ~ DailyScrewThePoor

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

MPs forced to claim more on expenses as cost of living increases​

The highest rate of inflation for 30 years will hit MPs hard as the expenses they have to claim skyrocket.

It’s a tough time to be an MP earning little more than £80k a year.

“If you’re worried about your rising household energy bills then just be grateful that you’re not an MP with an entire second home to pay for,” said Conservative MP Simon Williams.

“I don’t actually use my second home much – it’s more of an investment property – but I like to keep it constantly heated to avoid frozen pipes and suchlike.

“It’s going to cost the poor taxpayer an absolute fortune!

“Then we have rail fares rising by nearly 4%. Out of respect for the taxpayer, MPs may feel pressured to only book one first-class ticket when travelling and to put their briefcase in the overhead rack rather than in the seat next to them.

“Obviously we’ll still book two seats but we’ll certainly feel the pressure.

“Lending low-income households money to pay their bills will mean less cash is readily available to pay our expenses – this will further put MPs out of pocket as claims could take literally days to be processed.

“The worst thing about it is the sheer volume of paperwork. I’ll probably need to hire another assistant who can be dedicated to processing expense claims.

“Naturally, I’ll claim their salary on expenses but it’s still dreadfully inconvenient.”

via - DailyWe'reScrewed