In a fit of madness!

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

The five things you break down and buy in a fit of madness at IKEA​

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Going to IKEA?

You’ll end up leaving with nothing that you came for and a heap of junk you don’t need.

Here are five big offenders:

A sheepskin rug

This disaster of a rug looked so cool in the Scandinavian show-bedroom and you got carried away imagining a different life where you ski every weekend and are a natural blonde. When you get it home it just looks like you’ve carelessly thrown a dead dog on the living room floor.

A massive potted plant

The idea of having a huge, exotic plant in your living room is better than the reality, which is that you live in a tiny studio flat and won’t be able to see past it to the television. Luckily, because you got it from IKEA, it will die within three weeks, allowing you to repeat the process next time you shop there.

Twenty different sizes of Tupperware

For a moment there you briefly imagined yourself as the kind of person who brings lunch to work in tiny, reusable Tupperware boxes, and not someone who eats a Pret sandwich at 11am and another at 2pm. These boxes will serve no purpose other than annoyingly falling out of the kitchen cupboard every time you open it.

Nine bags of miniature Daim bars

You wouldn’t in a million years consider buying a Daim bar from any other shop, because they’re both sickly sweet and hard enough to snap your teeth on. However, you pick up several bags near the checkout every time you go to IKEA, for no reason that you could ever explain.

A Splörn

You saw this on offer in the kitchen section and just had to buy it. But when you get home the panic hits. What even is it? You can’t remember, and the instructions only say that it needs AA batteries and not to put it in direct sunlight. Good luck.

The five things you break down and buy in a fit of madness at IKEA

Going to IKEA? You’ll end up leaving with nothing that you came for and a heap of junk you don't need. Here are five big offenders.

www.thedailymash.co.uk

 

[SamBally]

Can I add-


Coat hangers, the posh wooden ones, even though you bought 100 last time.

A stash of the blue Ikea bags even though you already have a stash of them in the cupboard under the stairs.

A small Billy bookcase because the books you never got round to reading are piling up in the spare room/loft/shed/garage.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

 

[SamBally]

Lol.

As you wander in people are stumbling out with that dazed 1,000 yard Ikea stare.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

This Guy Got His Testicles Stuck In An Ikea Chair​

Swedish furniture megastore Ikea has come under fire from a customer for a rather peculiar reason.

Norwegian Claus Jørstad wrote a lengthy message on the company’s regional Facebook page claiming he got his testicles stuck in the holes on one of their chairs.

Jørstad, 45, said he placed the stool in his shower to give him some respite during his daily cleaning routine and was soaping up when he noticed one of his plums had become lodged in one of the openings on the seat.
“Sitting there and noticing the accident, I bent down to see what the **** happened, I realised the little nutter has got stuck,” he wrote on Facebook.

But the turmoil didn’t end there. Due to the sensitive nature of the trapped appendage, and the rising temperature causing his testicle to swell, Jørstad soon found himself unable to free his bits from the chair.
Naked, trapped, and out of ideas, the worried Norwegian was probably moments away from some ‘127 Hours’ style escape when the water turned cold by itself and luckily reduced the size of his “skipper and two sailors,” as he calls them. The shift in temperature allowed Jørstad to free himself and his little sailors live to see another day.
The fine people of Ikea Norway suggested he wear suitable attire for his next trip to the improvised sit-down shower, but he had other ideas on how to make the stool testicle-safe.

In case you’re wondering, he calls it the “weinermonkey.”

This Guy Wants You To Know How He Got His Balls Stuck In An Ikea Chair

"The skipper and two sailors" almost lost one of their trio.

www.huffingtonpost.co.uk

 

[SamBally]