I just want to find happiness

Koolashaker

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Think im in the the wrong place but im here now so, im so lost at the moment and lonely i dont know what the point is no more! In the last two year I've lost my family,career,and health having almost died in February from septic shock following an operation to remove tumours, I'm expecting abuse for this but I really don't know what to do!
 

Koolashaker

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Says so much when the internet can act like you don't exsist, enough is enough
 
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Saphire

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Think im in the the wrong place but im here now so, im so lost at the moment and lonely i dont know what the point is no more! In the last two year I've lost my family,career,and health having almost died in February from septic shock following an operation to remove tumours, I'm expecting abuse for this but I really don't know what to do!
I'm sure there are people here who will help by listening. I will for one.
Sometimes it helps to pour out troubles to virtual strangers....and if anyone did verbally abuse you for this, they need more help than you do. x
 

casiquaire

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Think im in the the wrong place but im here now so, im so lost at the moment and lonely i dont know what the point is no more! In the last two year I've lost my family,career,and health having almost died in February from septic shock following an operation to remove tumours, I'm expecting abuse for this but I really don't know what to do!
But you didnt die and there is a reason for that. I say this quite often to people who fall into a trap of being super absorbed by their predicament, yknow while they are living in the past with depression or living in the future with anxiety. What do you want your legacy to be? If your life was a storybook, would you want to read it? How would the book end? Would you want that book to end with a glorious victory? I could sit and offer you all the sympathy in the world but will that change your predicament, no, it might be heart warming for that split second but then what. I can only advise you on what worked for me, not too dissimilar circumstances brought me to a place not far from you, a loss of hope, thoughts of "is this all worth it" id gone past rock bottom, i was through the trapdoor at rockbottom. I wanted change, i didnt want to feel like this any more, but i was unrealistic, i wanted to go from A to Z in the blink of an eye. It doesnt work like that and i realise i had to take small steps, stacking up those small "wins" on a daily basis. Just changing 1 thing at a time. I started with a routine, making sure that certain positive actions were done each and every day, even when i didnt want to. Then i started adding in at least 1 thing a day i didnt really want to do, something extra ontop of that routine. Structure and sticking to a routine - it sounds mundane but after a week i felt different, i felt i had purpose again and its that feeling of having purpose which drove me forward. I dont have all the answers, im no guru, but what i did was i looked at where i wanted to be, what did i want my future to look like, what sort of person did i want to be so i looked at traits of high achieving people and found out what made them that and tried to replicate that. You survived all this for a reason because the world needs you, you just dont know it, its a better place with you in it. Youre only alone when dont know where youre going. Allow your conscience to be the compass, deep down you know what you need to do, regroup, make this chapter be about the rebuild of your life, coming back from the brink, you can do this!
 

Koolashaker

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Not all books have happy endings and if they did how would we know what happiness is without its opposite,thank you for taking time to reply it's rerestored some faith in the human condition
 

Koolashaker

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I'm sure there are people here who will help by listening. I will for one.
Sometimes it helps to pour out troubles to virtual strangers....and if anyone did verbally abuse you for this, they need more help than you do. x
my thoughts exactly and I've had nothing but abuse in the flesh for my fall from on high,I'm not perfect and have turned to drugs to try and cope and as a result I'm told to do the job right and get on with it and kill myself, this happened in a garage recently in the middle of the day, attacked and berated,the world is a fowl place and I see it for what it is now,Hell
 

xLx

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Sending strength, you deserve support
 

casiquaire

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Not all books have happy endings and if they did how would we know what happiness is without its opposite,thank you for taking time to reply it's rerestored some faith in the human condition
its time to answer the call of your conscience, if you want to keep choosing to ignore it with distractions like drugs and whatever vices you may have (drink, smoking, chasing validation from others or whatever it may be), then you will never find the true happiness in yourself. You have to love being alone with your purpose in life. Find that purpose, start that journey and you will find that happiness, i promise you.
 
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Saphire

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my thoughts exactly and I've had nothing but abuse in the flesh for my fall from on high,I'm not perfect and have turned to drugs to try and cope and as a result I'm told to do the job right and get on with it and kill myself, this happened in a garage recently in the middle of the day, attacked and berated,the world is a fowl place and I see it for what it is now,Hell
The world probably seems like a bad place for you right now, but it needn't stay like that.
There are far more good people than bad, reach out for help, be it from medics, family, friends, the church, even talking and being listened too in here may help.
Drugs are not the helping hand you need, they will just make life worse in the long run.
 

Koolashaker

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its time to answer the call of your conscience, if you want to keep choosing to ignore it with distractions like drugs and whatever vices you may have (drink, smoking, chasing validation from others or whatever it may be), then you will never find the true happiness in yourself. You have to love being alone with your purpose in life. Find that purpose, start that journey and you will find that happiness, i promise you.
The short of it is,I'm not strong enough,too much has happened and changed who I am.
 

Koolashaker

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I'm sure there are people here who will help by listening. I will for one.
Sometimes it helps to pour out troubles to virtual strangers....and if anyone did verbally abuse you for this, they need more help than you do. x
The world probably seems like a bad place for you right now, but it needn't stay like that.
There are far more good people than bad, reach out for help, be it from medics, family, friends, the church, even talking and being listened too in here may help.
Drugs are not the helping hand you need, they will just make life worse in the long run.
talking here is my last attempt at finding a way forward and it's helped some so thank you, I know the drugs have to stop, they started as a plaster and are now an addiction,how easy life can change.
 
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casiquaire

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talking here is my last attempt at finding a way forward and it's helped some so thank you, I know the drugs have to stop, they started as plaster and are now an addiction,how easy life can change.
this has been a massive step in the right direction, youve publicly acknowledged that youre in a bad place, thats the hardest bit, then its having that inward glance at yourself and knowing that you have to change and not look for distractions from your problems but solutions to them, thats the first stage of being accountable for your actions mate. Good on you for it, remember, 1 step at a time leads to many steps, keep stacking up those "wins"
 

ladymuck

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The biggest threat to happiness is self-obsession. Self-pity is defeatist. The best thing to do is keep yourself busy....fill your time doing things you enjoy. Don't rely on others to provide you with what you need.
 
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Saphire

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talking here is my last attempt at finding a way forward and it's helped some so thank you, I know the drugs have to stop, they started as plaster and are now an addiction,how easy life can change.
I agree with Casiquares post above.
Facing up to a problem and wanting to do something about it is the first step to conquering it.
Actually doing this publicly, takes real courage....it can also help others who might be going through similar problems too.
 

Koolashaker

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I just want my family back,I can't see an end to this misery without them
 

casiquaire

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I think I need to
i do too, try the local fellowships as ive seen a massive amount of success from those...... however the thing is with them, is that you have to really want change for them to work for you, you cant use them as distraction tactics from your problems or youll fail, you have to want it to work, you have to tackle your problems head on or you end up just driving any help away in the end, trust me on that, i know that behaviour all too well mate. You can do this!
 
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