How to learn to live with the Conservative party

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

DESPITE recent defeats in by-elections, the Conservative party isn’t going to magically disappear anytime soon. Here’s how to live with this deadly strain of politics: ​

Don’t read the news
Keeping up to date with current affairs is the most common way to be exposed to Tories, so avoid it where possible. Publications such as The Mail and The Telegraph are particularly virulent and are classed as a biohazard. If you come into contact with GB News, call NHS 111. And mutter muchly about the BBC being communist.

Maintain distance from Tories
Keeping at least two metres from a Tory means there’s less chance you’ll be infected with their contempt for the poor or their aspiration to renovate a second home. In Conservative hotspots like South Holland and The Deepings you may have to climb a tall building and send up a rescue flare.


Be rich
Financial security will protect you from the main symptoms of the Conservative party, which include hungry schoolchildren and an underfunded health service. Don’t be overconfident and do a big shop at Waitrose. It’s a superspreading viral pump for blue values.

Don’t be foreign
Being non-British is treatable only by being dragged away by immigration in the middle of the night while Priti Patel looks on in wry amusement, so act as if you’re from round here. Even wearing an England shirt at Wetherspoons’ Tuesday Steak Club reduces the likelihood of sideways glances by up to 90 per cent.

Become a Tory
The Conservative party has let rip through the country over the last decade, so long-term you’re better off taking it on the chin and going for herd immunity. Once you have a Union flag in the background of your Zoom call they can no longer hurt you. Will permanently suppress the part of your brain that controls common sense.

How to learn to live with the Conservative party

DESPITE recent defeats in by-elections, the Conservative party isn’t going to magically disappear anytime soon. Here’s how to live with this deadly strain of politics.

www.thedailymash.co.uk

 

[Wojcik]

The Conservatives will probably remain in power for the next ten to fifteen years because Labour's in a dire state. And these by-elections are meaningless. They may lose seats to the Lib Dems or the Greens, but let's face it, they're very similar to the Tory Party. Especially the Lib Dems, who are practically Tory-lite. So this idea of some kind of "Progressive Alliance" will never occur because Labour and the Lib Dems are entirely different politically. Same for the Greens.

As for class and relating to each Party, we see a strange realignment in politics. Whereas you had your working classes voting Labour, sometimes Greens on local issues, we're seeing a complete shift to the Conservatives. The Lib Dems however have always enjoyed that upper/middle class vote, who are those Waitrose and M&S types lol. And Labour are in a bit of a pickle. as they've alienated their core base through identity politics.

What is a foreigner? I would be a foreigner for example if i moved to a rural community in England, as they all know each other there, and would ask me why I'm there and why i moved there. Some may see that as offensive, as one article mentioned how those country rural areas are racist because the lady in question was black and she felt discriminated against. She mentioned how she wanted to bring her London-centric values to a rural community, which would explain why she felt foreign in that part of England, as she was foreign until she intergrates.
But it's not a race issue, as I've experienced the same type of questioning from locals when on holiday. These people are a very close nit community and i think that can be misunderstood as something else.

 

[Bad_Influence]

More Daily Mash garbage. I think it's supposed to be humorous satire but seems to fail on every level.

 

[Moriarty]

Anyone with I am Antifa in their Bio needs help lol
Since when does your political belief define who you are.
Lifes to complex to choose a side and stick with it.
We need both the left and the right to do their damn jobs, forget ideology, go with common sense (which appears to be not so common any more)

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

 

[Bad_Influence]

View attachment 3808

No....
Antifa is a far left Political movement who aim to achieve their objectives through violent actions.

 

[Wojcik]

No....
Antifa is a far left Political movement who aim to achieve their objectives through violent actions.

They've even executed people in the streets of Portland. It sounds very similar to what my Polish grandfather experienced when the Soviet Russians invaded Poland and executed many people, including his own siblings in the streets.

 

[Bad_Influence]

They've even executed people in the streets of Portland. It sounds very similar to what my Polish grandfather experienced when the Soviet Russians invaded Poland and executed many people, including his own siblings in the streets.

Enough said.