How did you lose yours??

[Dardii]

You'd think by what they say - "you lose your dignity when you give birth" - would be accurate, except not all dignity is lost during that time or each following birth (I should know, I'm the mother of 5 (yeah yeah, back in the day there was nowt on the telly)). There have been and no doubt will be more times since that I've lost more dignity.

At stupid o'clock this morning I got out of bed to pee and as I was sat on the chuntie the updo I had bugged me, so I started to pull out my bobble and in Angelina Jolie style (the bit before she breaks the guys neck) proceeded to move my head left to right in an almost sultry way to allow my beautiful hair to cascade down to my shoulders.. smoldering I tell thee.. smoldering...!! Except for the fact I was still peeing. I finished, and while blowing my nose (yes, I'm a real catch..wink wink) I thought to myself "Dardii, you're not only hot but multi-talented too". I wiped my fud, flushed the loo, went to the sink and started to wash my hands... in the mirror was an old sleepy woman (not Angelina) who did have beautiful hair (told ya) staring back with tissue hanging off the tip of her nose after blowing it!! Self dignity.. gone!!

Runs in the family though.
Daughter No3 moons ago was in cooking class and had to present her cake to the teacher, en route she slipped but caught the cake as she landed. As she stood up the class applauded, to which she said "Phew! Almost lost my dignity there!" Then she quickly turned round and fell over the bin..!

So.. how did you lose yours?

 

[WickedPerdition]

So.. how did you lose yours?

Presumably, you're still talking about 'dignity'?
I think I lost mine when I ventured into my first chatroom and, later on, submitted my first comment and thread on the Forums.
We were all 'chat virgins' at some point.
Judging from the silent majority on the chatroom User lists, some would seem to prefer to remain so.

By the way, I thought you were avoiding any further toilet humour.

 

[Dardii]

I lost my dignity many times in my life. Begging my wife for sex in the middle of an argument about who pinched the remote is up there when I was on laxatives.
As timing goes, that wasnt the finest moment.
Nowadays I feel more upset that I cannot remember somebodies name than that 1 off.

Bloody hilarious!! You'll fit in to this mental online (albeit completely voluntary) institute known as chat really well.. I can tell! I'm not known as Septic Peg in my home town for nothing you know.

 

[Dardii]

Presumably, you're still talking about 'dignity'?
I think I lost mine when I ventured into my first chatroom and, later on, submitted my first comment and thread on the Forums.
We were all 'chat virgins' at some point.
Judging from the silent majority on the chatroom User lists, some would seem to prefer to remain so.

By the way, I thought you were avoiding any further toilet humour.

Did I actually say that I'm avoiding toilet humour?? I say so much (BTW, I'm still huffing with you), that I forget.
Besides, it would be awfully hard to avoid toilet humour given the fact I've got that bodily condition called Potty Mouth.

 

[LadyOnArooftop]

More toilet humour
Have you ever woken up and wondered where the hell you are? You just see a strange ceiling and think where the hell am I? One occasion I recall
from some years ago... I woke up in the middle of the night desperate for the loo, but could I find one... I was in a town house because there was another flight of stairs. Up I went and spotted a loo. Shot in there and did my business... Came out and saw an older couple in bed sitting up, staring aghast at me. I'd used their on-suite toilet. They'd heard me rushing up the stairs, dashing into the loo, then heard me me tinkling away... I just said "I'm with" while pointing to the lower floor, and slunk away in shame.

 

[Dardii]

More toilet humour
Have you ever woken up and wondered where the hell you are? You just see a strange ceiling and think where the hell am I? One occasion I recall
from some years ago... I woke up in the middle of the night desperate for the loo, but could I find one... I was in a town house because there was another flight of stairs. Up I went and spotted a loo. Shot in there and did my business... Came out and saw an older couple in bed sitting up, staring aghast at me. I'd used their on-suite toilet. They'd heard me rushing up the stairs, dashing into the loo, then heard me me tinkling away... I just said "I'm with" while pointing to the lower floor, and slunk away in shame.

You're definitely in the top spot so far! There may be a certificate coming your way!! Bloody fabulously funny - loved it..!

 

[Paul1003]

I never had any dignity from childhood. still trying to find it. A bit fucking late but I'm not dead yet. still a chance

 

[Moriarty]

I took a girl home once, I knew her somewhat, she was wasted, just wanted to be a gent.
We got a taxi, got to hers and went in.
We ended up sleeping in the same bed, student digs, she went for it.
I said no, she would regret it in the morning.

Got up, went to the kitchen, got a beer and sat downstairs for the rest of the night fully clothed.

When the doorbell went in the morning, it was her boyfriend, saw the blanket on the sofa, my empty beer cans and me clothed and didnt think anything..

Dignity, I could and would have got laid that night, yet, feck.

 

[Dardii]

I took a girl home once, I knew her somewhat, she was wasted, just wanted to be a gent.
We got a taxi, got to hers and went in.
We ended up sleeping in the same bed, student digs, she went for it.
I said no, she would regret it in the morning.

Got up, went to the kitchen, got a beer and sat downstairs for the rest of the night fully clothed.

When the doorbell went in the morning, it was her boyfriend, saw the blanket on the sofa, my empty beer cans and me clothed and didnt think anything..

Dignity, I could and would have got laid that night, yet, feck.

That was the right thing to do.
It would of been a sh** shag anyway.. or do guys as students actually care? I've heard stories in the wind.. whispers... students will pretty much rodger anything.

 

[Moriarty]

That was the right thing to do.
It would of been a sh** shag anyway.. or do guys as students actually care? I've heard stories in the wind.. whispers... students will pretty much rodger anything.

Yeah I was a mature student at 24, they were all 18, even though the desire was there, resisted lol.