Hall E Loo Yah!!

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Religious followers all set to mark the occasion of a botched execution in the Middle East​

Religious people are busily filling their houses with chocolate eggs and rabbits, to mark the anniversary of a botched execution in Golgotha.

Approximately 2,000 years ago, a resident of the region was sentenced to death for treason. But due to an administrative error, he was only hung up for ‘the best part of an afternoon’.

“As a mark of respect, I’ll be eating chocolate and some rather flamboyant cakes,” explained Jesus super-fan Ray Cyst.

“The thought of primitive justice systems always makes me feel hungry.”

Cyst isn’t the only one who gets a big appetite at the merest whiff of crucifixion: Jesus himself went out for a big tea with his mates just before the big day.

After surviving his punishment, the fugitive quickly died, which was seen as a ‘miracle’ at the time.

“He died for all our sins,” explained Cyst.

“And also for the treason thing.

“Which when I think about it, is a lot worse than anything I’ve recently done.”

TY@NT

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Good? I’ve had better Fridays, insists Jesus​

“So how about we call it ‘Shitty But I See Why It Was Necessary Friday’?”

Jesus has claimed that whilst he has no problem with people celebrating Good Friday, maybe they would consider renaming it to something more appropriate.

Speaking through one of his earthly representatives, Jesus said, “As Fridays go, the particular one you’re enjoying today wasn’t actually one of my best.

“It wasn’t even in my top couple of dozen if I’m honest, but if you want to go around calling it the ‘Good’ Friday, then I guess that’s fine. Your call.

Jesus then went on to recount alternative Friday’s he’d enjoyed that might be more deserving of the title ‘Good’.

He said, “I actually remember this one Friday where me and the boys went down to the beach on the Sea of Galilee, I turned some water into wine so everyone could get their buzz on and we had a cracking laugh mucking about in the sun.
“If I remember correctly, Mary Magdalene brought some of her mates down and we had some real fun, you know. That wasn’t a good Friday, that was a great Friday.”

Jesus went on to explain why he understood the Christian desire to celebrate Good Friday.

He said, “Look, I get it, you’re celebrating something you see as being the start of something good – I’m just saying the start of it, the bit that happened today, wasn’t so great.

“I’m not saying there’s nothing good about me being crucified, I’m just saying once is enough, and I’m in absolutely no hurry to go through it again.

“So how about we call it ‘Shitty But I See Why It Was Necessary Friday’?”

TY@NT

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

via Cold War Steve

 

[Septembersun]

Easter is not just a religious celebration but also a pagan pre Christian festival in honour of the pagan goddess of fertility and spring known as Eastre. The word “Easter” finds its etymology from the goddess's name. I shall now eat my chocolate Easter rabbit.