Going on holiday?

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Five things you'll take on holiday but never fvcking use​

Holidays are tedious exercises in over-preparation that cost you a fortune.

Here are five items you pack every year and never fvcking touch.

A book

Thanks to all the travel time and inevitable hanging around in airports, you’re bound to make progress on that book which has been gathering dust on your bedside table, right? Incorrect. It will stay firmly wedged at the bottom of your suitcase and take up valuable space for duty-free booze. Bin it now.

Travel insurance

A ball-ache of an expense but a worthwhile one, or so you say to yourself before every holiday as you reluctantly piss away another couple of tenners. You never need it though because you spend the entirety of your vacation sitting by the hotel swimming pool and wishing you were at home watching TV. Live a little by neglecting to buy it next time.

An extra 30 pairs of pants

You’re only going away for a long weekend, so five pairs of pants will easily keep you covered. What if you get the shitz on the flight though? And what if half a dozen pairs mysteriously vanish? These must be the scenarios that run through your head while packing because you’ve got enough underwear to last a month. And they’re all moth-eaten.

Basic foreign phrases

Having idly flicked through a phrase book while on the toilet, you’re equipped with a rudimentary number of foreign phrases that make a toddler seems eloquent by comparison. Rather than doing the polite thing by trying to use them in conversation though, you’ll mumble, stutter, then just speak English slowly and loudly. It’s what everyone expects.

The ability to relax

Every holiday you’ll think this will finally be put into use, and every holiday you’re proven wrong. If you’re not getting stressed out about getting to the airport on time, you’ll be worried that you’re not making the most of your precious time off. You’d have a more relaxing time just staying at work and doing a really half-arsed job.

Five things you'll take on holiday but never f**king use

HOLIDAYS are tedious exercises in over-preparation that cost you a fortune. Here are five items you pack every year and never f**king touch.

www.thedailymash.co.uk

Can you name more? Leave your comments below.

 

[Words]

i do most of those except 30 pairs of pants.
i read least 3 books for a weeks holiday
have insurance from my bank.
and relaxing with a sunbed and a few drinks are my thing
given up exploring places done that in my youth
the wife's a different kettle of fish she would pack the kitchen sink if it was allowed
and dont get me on how many pairs of shoes she takes or clothes