SamBally
Dance with me until the sun rises!
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- Apr 13, 2021
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Women have been told that the gender pay gap will become a thing of the past after men everywhere said it was at the very top of their to-do list for the year 2109.
The study found that men have a lot of much more important things to be getting on with over the next 87 years, but once they’re taken care of them, pay equality will have their undivided attention.
Dave Pile, aged 59, told us, “The gender pay gap is extremely important to myself and my fellow Y chromosome owners.
Pile who has previously argued the gender pay gap is wokeism gone mad and that men work much harder than women in more important jobs so deserve higher pay said he had a change of heart after watching female boxing at the Olympics.
Pile said ”I might have previously said female athletes should not be paid the same as their male counterparts but after watching the boxing I realize even the little Spanish girl who won the gold could beat me up.”
Pile concluded “Which is why I am pleased to announce gender equality is now up there on my to-solve list, just below rocket shoes and nuclear fusion.
“I tell you now, the day we’re all flying around on a pair of new Nikes powered by cheap renewable emission-free nuclear energy is the day you’ll be earning the same as us.
“It’s coming ladies, you have our word.”
However, some groups of men have said the current situation is just fine, thank you very much.
Mid-level executive Mike Jones told us, “Women have to think hard if this is really what they want, because right now they can market themselves as being like men, only cheaper – that’s a valuable unique selling point in my opinion.
“Then there’s the fact that they live five years longer on average, so their lifetime earnings often exceed those of men, but you never hear that, do you?
“Plus they retire earlier – so maybe if they weren’t so work-shy they would earn more?”
”Please, don't even get me going on pregnancy because it makes me so angry.”
The study found that men have a lot of much more important things to be getting on with over the next 87 years, but once they’re taken care of them, pay equality will have their undivided attention.
Dave Pile, aged 59, told us, “The gender pay gap is extremely important to myself and my fellow Y chromosome owners.
Pile who has previously argued the gender pay gap is wokeism gone mad and that men work much harder than women in more important jobs so deserve higher pay said he had a change of heart after watching female boxing at the Olympics.
Pile said ”I might have previously said female athletes should not be paid the same as their male counterparts but after watching the boxing I realize even the little Spanish girl who won the gold could beat me up.”
Pile concluded “Which is why I am pleased to announce gender equality is now up there on my to-solve list, just below rocket shoes and nuclear fusion.
“I tell you now, the day we’re all flying around on a pair of new Nikes powered by cheap renewable emission-free nuclear energy is the day you’ll be earning the same as us.
“It’s coming ladies, you have our word.”
However, some groups of men have said the current situation is just fine, thank you very much.
Mid-level executive Mike Jones told us, “Women have to think hard if this is really what they want, because right now they can market themselves as being like men, only cheaper – that’s a valuable unique selling point in my opinion.
“Then there’s the fact that they live five years longer on average, so their lifetime earnings often exceed those of men, but you never hear that, do you?
“Plus they retire earlier – so maybe if they weren’t so work-shy they would earn more?”
”Please, don't even get me going on pregnancy because it makes me so angry.”
