SamBally
Dance with me until the sun rises!
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2021
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A FURLOUGHED man has had the spiritual awakening that what he was born to do was to earn money for not working.
Dave Pile, aged 59, a now unemployed bookkeeper, admitted he has been dissatisfied in his career for years and wondered if there was something out there that would be perfect for him, and has now found it.
He said: “I cried bitterly for days on end when furlough ended last year. But since that time I’ve realised that what truly makes me deep-down happy in life was raking it in while getting pissed and doing jack sh** all day.
“Not having to set an alarm in the morning, not having to worry about drinking on a work night, not having to trawl through 3 responses to a single group email about a birthday cake, and still being paid 80 per cent of my wage. I found my calling.
“I’m thinking of maybe doing an online course in How To Get Even Drunker And Argue Better, so I can really hone my skill set to be best placed to do more quality non-work in the years to come.
“Honestly, if only I’d known earlier I could find something I enjoy doing as much as sod all and actually be paid for it! This really is a dream come true.”
Ex-partner Jill said: “I tried to prepare him for the fact that the scheme wouldn't last forever, but he became so addicted to alcohol that he even pours brandy on his Weetabix when he crawls out of bed at 1 pm. ”
Dave Pile, aged 59, a now unemployed bookkeeper, admitted he has been dissatisfied in his career for years and wondered if there was something out there that would be perfect for him, and has now found it.
He said: “I cried bitterly for days on end when furlough ended last year. But since that time I’ve realised that what truly makes me deep-down happy in life was raking it in while getting pissed and doing jack sh** all day.
“Not having to set an alarm in the morning, not having to worry about drinking on a work night, not having to trawl through 3 responses to a single group email about a birthday cake, and still being paid 80 per cent of my wage. I found my calling.
“I’m thinking of maybe doing an online course in How To Get Even Drunker And Argue Better, so I can really hone my skill set to be best placed to do more quality non-work in the years to come.
“Honestly, if only I’d known earlier I could find something I enjoy doing as much as sod all and actually be paid for it! This really is a dream come true.”
Ex-partner Jill said: “I tried to prepare him for the fact that the scheme wouldn't last forever, but he became so addicted to alcohol that he even pours brandy on his Weetabix when he crawls out of bed at 1 pm. ”