Kev45
Fluffy elephants dance on candyfloss pink clouds.
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2022
- Messages
- 1,559
- Reaction score
- 848
THE police have issued a warning that rioters are indeed thick enough to have another go this weekend, despite being quelled on Wednesday.
Following an emergency Cobra meeting with the prime minister, the police have pointed out that rioters will not have learnt from their mistakes and may try to violently riot again. Despite over 800 arrests already, and in the futile hope of a different result this time.
A police spokesperson said: Racist mobs aren’t the brains of Britain. You don’t see them appearing on QI or Only Connect for a reason. We arrested two following a violent confrontation with each other over whose go it was in a game of Kerplunk.
Doctors have warned it will be no easy task locating and removing all the marbles they forcibly rammed up each other's bodily orifices.
Another two claimed they had just that minute left a bingo hall and were innocently caught up in the riots while trying to buy alcohol to take home. The nearest bingo hall was at the other end of town, three miles away.
They’ll have already forgotten that they were faced down by peaceful protests mere days ago. Facts and information tend to glide straight over their brains without leaving a trace, as we’re sure the public is well-aware of by now.
These people film themselves in the act and hurl bricks at each other’s heads and genitals. Do you really think they’ve been mulling over their actions and trying to see their grievances from another point of view? Be serious.
Some even wore gloves to avoid leaving fingerprints but did not cover their faces. Look around you, stupid, do you not see three hundred smartphones filming you?
One elderly man arrested on Wednesday claimed his name is Nigel, when we searched the police database we discovered it is David. When we questioned why he lied, he claimed it was a “typo”. These rioters are so intrinsically stupid, they do not even understand what “typo” means.
So if you want to stay safe this weekend, try hanging around an art gallery or ducking into the nearest Waterstones. These places look like a blur on a rioter’s peripheral vision, so they’ll trudge right past you fixated on their goal, getting arrested, and four years in prison.
The police spokesperson added: We’re planning on dealing with them by erecting a bunch of signs that read ‘mosques this way’ which lead straight into jail cells.
That’s how terminally stupid we’re talking.
Following an emergency Cobra meeting with the prime minister, the police have pointed out that rioters will not have learnt from their mistakes and may try to violently riot again. Despite over 800 arrests already, and in the futile hope of a different result this time.
A police spokesperson said: Racist mobs aren’t the brains of Britain. You don’t see them appearing on QI or Only Connect for a reason. We arrested two following a violent confrontation with each other over whose go it was in a game of Kerplunk.
Doctors have warned it will be no easy task locating and removing all the marbles they forcibly rammed up each other's bodily orifices.
Another two claimed they had just that minute left a bingo hall and were innocently caught up in the riots while trying to buy alcohol to take home. The nearest bingo hall was at the other end of town, three miles away.
They’ll have already forgotten that they were faced down by peaceful protests mere days ago. Facts and information tend to glide straight over their brains without leaving a trace, as we’re sure the public is well-aware of by now.
These people film themselves in the act and hurl bricks at each other’s heads and genitals. Do you really think they’ve been mulling over their actions and trying to see their grievances from another point of view? Be serious.
Some even wore gloves to avoid leaving fingerprints but did not cover their faces. Look around you, stupid, do you not see three hundred smartphones filming you?
One elderly man arrested on Wednesday claimed his name is Nigel, when we searched the police database we discovered it is David. When we questioned why he lied, he claimed it was a “typo”. These rioters are so intrinsically stupid, they do not even understand what “typo” means.
So if you want to stay safe this weekend, try hanging around an art gallery or ducking into the nearest Waterstones. These places look like a blur on a rioter’s peripheral vision, so they’ll trudge right past you fixated on their goal, getting arrested, and four years in prison.
The police spokesperson added: We’re planning on dealing with them by erecting a bunch of signs that read ‘mosques this way’ which lead straight into jail cells.
That’s how terminally stupid we’re talking.