Dee Flekshun

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Man waiting over three years for hip replacement and who can’t afford hot baths still hates cyclists more than the Tories​

As NHS waiting lists reached a record 7.6 million, and the underfunding has reached £400 billion, a man waiting for a routine procedure on his left hip has successfully shifted his anger onto Britain’s cyclists whilst weighing up if he could justify the cost of using his toaster for the reduced crumpets he’d picked up in the supermarket.

Ray Cyst, 68, describing his most recent encounter said, “I remember the day well, I’d chosen to drive instead of taking the train because the government’s mishandling of the rail network made me forget about the government’s mishandling of the price of petrol.”

“It cost me over £90 to fill up the tank, which is fine, and absolutely no reason to reconsider my voting habits, but as soon as I pulled out, I saw cyclists riding two abreast. I just saw red – that 15-second period where I had to wait to pass safely was the longest of my life.

“It almost made me forget the dull ache in my side for which I’ve been waiting over 42 weeks to see a specialist.

“Almost.”

While Cyst acknowledged the underfunding of the NHS, by £400 billion, under the Conservatives had caused undue suffering to him and several of his loved ones, he did see some light at the end of the tunnel.

He went on, “I saw in the Daily Mail and on GB News they might consider making cyclists pay road tax. About time, those smug two-wheeled chancers.

“And before you ask, no, I’m pretty sure I haven’t been the victim of a culture war manufactured by the Murdoch press designed to distract from Tory mismanagement of the country’s infrastructure, and the throbbing pain in my leg every f.ucking step.”

Adding, “These cycling bastards don’t pay insurance!”

TY@NT