Brexiter refuses vaccine passport but still insists they should be BLUE

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Your local Brexiter is branding vaccine passports as a disgrace but is still insistent on what colour they should be.

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In a classic case of have-your-cake-and-eat-it, Simon Williams has announced he will be excluding himself from a process entirely while still insisting he has some say over how that decision works.

“It’s a disc race,” said Simon, carefully emphasising the words “disc” and “race”, so you KNOW he’s messed it up.

“It’s just a way for the government to track and control us. I made that point this morning from my smartphone while sat in my house, from which I am registered on the electoral roll.

“I absolutely will not have a vaccine and I want absolutely no part in any kind of vaccine passport whatsoever.

“However, I must insist that they be BLUE.

“We’re British. Therefore a blue vaccine passport is the only acceptable vaccine passport- even though, as I say, they are completely unacceptable.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I am going to eat this chocolate cake, and by the time I finish it had better still be here or I’m going to write a very strongly worded letter.”

 
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