Back to the 70s

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Man who didn't want Labour taking UK back to the 70s fine with Tories doing it​

A man who claimed voting for Labour would drag the country back to the 1970s is happy with rising inflation and an unheated home when the Tories do it.

In 2019 Kriz Tohppfur assured anyone who would listen that Jeremy Corbyn was hell-bent on inflicting economic chaos on Britain, but now feels the Conservatives are responsible leaders for doing exactly that.

McKay said: “Obviously if Labour were in charge now I would bitterly blame them for pushing innocent little children and nice old ladies into freezing poverty thanks to their woeful mismanagement of the economy.

“But because it’s the Tories, I’m of the opinion that putting your clothes on under the bed covers because it’s so cold and only being able to afford one shower a week are noble activities that will make this country great again.

“I’d probably mention other weird similarities like higher taxation, but they’re not spending it on stupid hippy wind farms anymore so that’s good enough for me.

“Am I cold and hungry? No, I bought a house 40 years ago and paid the mortgage off so I’m not going to suffer in the slightest. But I think I remember as a kid my mum made me a jam sandwich once instead of a cooked lunch, so I have known crushing poverty.

“Frankly I barely need to have the heating on because the thought of today’s young people being cold and unhappy gives me a lovely warm glow inside.”

via ~ DailyDeaths

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

Seven things that were so much f.ucking simpler in the 1970s​

There were strikes and shortages and scandals, but you know what there wasn’t in the 1970s?

Bloody complications.

For example:

Affairs
For men it was simple: if the opportunity for extra-marital sex came up, you took it. For women it was slightly more complicated: you could only take it if you weren’t getting any at home. Either way, everyone cheerfully shagged everyone else, all the time.

Smoking
You could smoke in the pub, on the bus, in the cinema, in the office, anywhere you liked. The centrepiece of every lounge was an overflowing ashtray and everywhere was a fug of blue-grey smoke, permanently. Nobody minded, and anyone who died would have died anyway.

Tortoises
You got a tortoise, painted its name on its shell, and stuck it in the garden for eight months of the year where it happily munched lettuce. In November Blue Peter showed you how to stick it in a box and hope for the best. Now you need heat lamps and UV lamps and bloody kale.

Dogshit
Walk the dog, it does a sh**, why’s that any of your problem?

Childcare
The designated childcare provider throughout school holidays was the oldest kid on the street. A gang of kids, nominally overseen by a 13-year-old, would spend whole days in disused quarries throwing rocks at a floating oil drum. Bring it back.

Education
Teachers were war veterans who could give you a clout, but there were no consequences to not learning anything because you could get a factory job. Psychopathic bullying passed the time.

Tories
Before Thatcher there wasn’t all this buggering about with market forces and free ports. The Tories wanted to be in charge because they were landowning Lords born to rule. They never pretended to like you.

via ~ DailyClipRoundEarole