“Everyone I know is voting Reform!” Insists man whose social circle is his dog, a bloke in the park and his long suffering wife.

[Kev45]

Dismissing the existing polling showing a huge Labour majority in the upcoming general election, Simon Sausage from Brighton, aged 54, announced his intentions to vote for Reform. Bolstering his claims of sweeping Nigel Farage into Number 10 with the assertion everyone he knows is also voting for Reform.

Sausage dismissed claims this was constitutionally impossible, even though Reform will probably win just a single, possibly two, seats, and Sausage claimed it is MSM scaremongering.

Sausage said, “I’m voting for Reform, my only friend is voting for Reform, he’s also my dealer, so don’t print his name. The guy I nod at in the park is voting for Reform, and my parole officer is also voting for Reform.”

When pressed, Sausage added, “Okay, my parole officer might not be voting for Reform, but he did say he was a huge fan of Top Gear, so I just read between the lines.”

When quizzed on whether the recent defections, allegations of racism and candidates being forced to stand down would impact his decision, Sausage replied “it's an MSM conspiracy, every false allegation of racism only makes me more committed to Reform – as well as when one of them has a go at the Transexuals or the 'boat' people.

“Honestly, wild horses or a picture of a naked Nigel Farage couldn’t stop me from voting for them. There is nothing you can tell me about Reform, nor any evidence you could present, that would stop me from voting for them. Literally, nothing can stop me from voting for them.”

“It’s definitely not a cult,” he added, apropos of nothing.

When approached for comment on how this would shape the election, a polling expert at YouGov was quoted as saying, “Simon Sausage and everyone he knows is voting Reform?”

“It certainly will have a measurable impact, as every action in the universe does, though I’d place it at around the same impact level as taking a deep intake of breath and then trying to divert a hurricane through a strong exhalation."

“Or to put it in purely political terms, he’s splitting the vote for the Tories and handing an even larger majority to Labour."

At press time, 95% of Russian online troll farms had also announced their intention to vote for Reform.

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

And, stepping away from the right wing f.uckers on other posts and stopping at the far right league of arseholes

Imagine being so fractured as a human being you would vote for these Reform c.unts.

Fuhrer Farage and his brown shirts showing us who they really are!

Germans back in 1939 acted the same way, fell for the same rhetoric.

And we all know how well that worked out.

 

[Kev45]

Indeed, the scary thing is it's not even a protest vote, is it.

But of course they won't breathe a word of it to their ethnic minority neighbours, will they (cowards).

They truly believe the Farage pledge to “freeze non-essential immigration" (whatever that means) is somehow tackling immigration.

Immigration last year was 1.2 million, net 685,000.

The highest on record.

“Boat” people crossing the channel were a mere 29, 437 in direct comparison.

Which is increasing this year, despite the Rwanda threat, and yet Farage is somehow going to wave his magic pledge wand and “deport” them, back to somewhere or other.

I can't even be bothered typing about his other so-called “pledges”, which were clearly written on the back of a cigarette packet. Designed to appeal to the type of person your own mother would disown you for if you brought one of them home.

 

[PennyDreadful2]

Imagine being so unimaginative, that you have to post memes, and quotes from other publications, rather than have opinions of your own.

 

[Kev45]

Imagine being so humourless, so devoid of a sense of humour, that you do not understand what satire is. Still feel compelled to respond anyway, and then even more bizarrely whine about people for having no opinions while airing not a single opinion yourself.

Says the sausage, voting for the major shareholder of a private company.

Which describes its 'manifesto' as a “contract”, and when the contents of that “contract” immediately open the door to multiple class action litigation.