SamBally
Dance with me until the sun rises!
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2021
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After being told that it is not advisable to put peaches in the freezer as they will oxidise, Dave Pile has launched a new freeze peach campaign – ‘Dave Pile’s Freeze Peach Union.’
“They just don’t get it. These so-called scientists are trying to trample all over my rights as a British citizen to freeze peach,” he claimed, in an article on his friend's blog.
“Well, for too long we’ve had the paid interests of the so-called science ‘experts’ dictate what I can and can’t do. I’m not taking it any longer! I’m a British citizen! I have a peach! I have a freezer! No one is going to take away my rights to freeze peach anymore.”
He then posted a short video of him putting a peach in the freezer while shouting ‘freeze peach’ over and over again until finally, the neighbours banged on the wall with a broom shouting "stfu you prize c*nt".
Pile then posted another video several days later of him opening the freezer to find the peach was all brown and horrible. He then spent several minutes claiming that ‘Big Pharma’ had broken into his house and replaced his original peach with the horrible one and he would be reporting it to the police immediately.
The video ended with Pile solemnly pledging to continue defending everyone’s right to freeze peach.
Since its launch, ‘Dave Pile’s Freeze Peach Union’ has attracted support from Jimmy Carr, Allison Pearson, Laurence Fox, Julia Hartley-Brewer and a crazy old man who lives in a bin.
Literally, no one else gives a toss either way.
“They just don’t get it. These so-called scientists are trying to trample all over my rights as a British citizen to freeze peach,” he claimed, in an article on his friend's blog.
“Well, for too long we’ve had the paid interests of the so-called science ‘experts’ dictate what I can and can’t do. I’m not taking it any longer! I’m a British citizen! I have a peach! I have a freezer! No one is going to take away my rights to freeze peach anymore.”
He then posted a short video of him putting a peach in the freezer while shouting ‘freeze peach’ over and over again until finally, the neighbours banged on the wall with a broom shouting "stfu you prize c*nt".
Pile then posted another video several days later of him opening the freezer to find the peach was all brown and horrible. He then spent several minutes claiming that ‘Big Pharma’ had broken into his house and replaced his original peach with the horrible one and he would be reporting it to the police immediately.
The video ended with Pile solemnly pledging to continue defending everyone’s right to freeze peach.
Since its launch, ‘Dave Pile’s Freeze Peach Union’ has attracted support from Jimmy Carr, Allison Pearson, Laurence Fox, Julia Hartley-Brewer and a crazy old man who lives in a bin.
Literally, no one else gives a toss either way.
