Murder on the chat floor!.. Whodunnit..

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Bad_Influence

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Rumours are spreading that a shifty character was seen sneaking out of Boots with tubes of Anusol and Kleenex. He may also have had Deep Heat in his pockets but no photographic evidence can be found.
 

WickedPerdition

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Breaking news just in from Chat central....

An as of yet an unidentified body has been discovered in the chat room list of UK 40s and 50's room earlier today.

Gender yet unknown. However rumour has it several flamingo related articles, tractor prints, a tube of deep heat, bunny ears, a toucan and a cactus were found nearby.

Chat 'expert' chatters are on the case and several suspects will be interviewed throughout the next few days.

A leak of names of some of those being interviewed is as follows. (names may be changed to stop copyright)

HackAssMe, a respectable member of chat. However we can't forget that pic scandal from last year.

TinkerLaFelle, Very sensitive beautiful chatter, but she does have a cactus collection and a tractor.

Kinky Dee, Everyone loves this women, shes hot eh, but could she have sneaked about with her bunny tail bobbin and done the dirty deed.

MatteLaBerk, Seems a nice chap, but we all know he is sharper than a, well something very sharp. Could it be pun related?

Duchess Minngo, High society Hot tub extraordinaire with her famous flamingo collection and posh castle.

Skuby Tuesday, Dutch delight, but did she clogger someone when they were not looking.

GlenMcIt'sMyBirthdaySoon, Quiet chap, seems harmless. However did he finally go off the boil and peculate a font.
Sean In The Pie , Yes shes across the pond but did she sneak across the boarders on the pretense of looking for a bit of Beatles memorabilia.

Wilfy la Noir, Charming Yorkshire chap, but did he finally snap!

Sliggy, I mean his legs are far too short to run far away, but maybe he had an accomplish.

Black Fabric babe, Shes exotic and mysterious and bound to know spells n stuff.

Blonks, ahh yes seems like a harmless artist, but is he sneakier than Banksey and slapped someone with a copperpot.

Frank In Suspenders, Innocent brown fonter or dastardly wrong un?

Oh my turn to be interview TBC. .

The sad thing is that both chat rooms and
Forums are being 'murdered' by a small group of chatters who are easy to identify.
What we need is a mass cull of these chatters from both platforms and then we might get some semblance of decency.
:rolleyes:
 

mattekudesai

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it was'n me...i was getting toucans at the time of the incident.......no way am i going to be PUN-ished for something i neva done..or did, i mean....P.S.....i'm innocent
 
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megs233

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My condolences to the family of the deceased . When the funeral and how many are allowed to go?.
 

Words

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Dont worry megs your getting the best seat in the morgue :)
 

Shak

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Update.

Today following a number of eyewitness reports and interviews from reliable chatters, police are looking for the below person to help with their enquiries .
This person was seen loitering around the room on the night of the body being found.

Suspicious person was between 2ft to 9ft tall. With blonde,brown, ginger, red, grey blue or brunette hair.

Was dressed in Black jumper, maybe red jacket, or possibly topless.
With jeans, joggers, skirt, kilt, ra-ra skirt or might have been a dress or dungarees.

They were definitely seen carrying all of these items.
An Axe, a Rubiks Cube, a Cactus, Glitter pens, Cookies shaped like willies, A treasure map, a Jar of coffee, A golf club, 2 flamingos,a tin of Beans, a Wand, Sonic Screwdriver and a pack of 4 Iron brews.

This person was certainly female, or male or maybe none binary.

Police are confident this new lead will help move the investigation on further.

I'm sure our resident crime artist Vincent Van Plonks, will be delighted to do the photo fit!
 
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