Polyembolokoilamania

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

A&E department celebrates treating one-millionth man with foreign object stuck up his arse​

Staff at an Accident and Emergency Department in Swansea were cracking open the champagne yesterday after treating their one-millionth man with a foreign object stuck up his jacksie.

The hard-working doctors and nurses at Swansea General Hospital were over the moon at reaching such an incredible milestone.

Nurse Annie Oldiron said, “It really does make this job worthwhile, knowing that we’ve managed to help so many poor, unfortunate men who have, through no fault of their own, found themselves with something strange stuck up their bottoms.

“Usually something like one of those little deodorant spray bottles.”

“Yes, it’s incredible how many different ways these men find themselves with one of those things stuck up their nipsies,” confirmed Doctor Hans Orf, who has personally treated many of these hapless souls.

“Sometimes they’re cleaning the bathroom in the buff when they accidentally sit down on a deodorant spray and the top comes off. Or they’re cleaning the bathroom in the buff when they accidentally slip and land on a deodorant spray and the top comes off. Now and again, on the odd rare occasion, we even have someone in who says that they’ve deliberately shoved a deodorant spray up their arses just to see what it’s like – but we don’t tend to believe those ones, I mean, who would do that?”

“It never ceases to amaze me how this only ever seems to happen to men,” added Nurse Oldiron.

“I guess it’s because women never clean their bathrooms in the buff. That’s the only reason I can think of.”
TY@NT

 

[Kev45]

I'll be immediately washing my Lynx can tonight after I bring it home from Aldi.

 

[TemptingEnigma]

It's to make their farts smell sweeter.

 

[Moriarty]

Yet I wonder how many women have been treated with foriegn objects stuck in an oriface.
Does that even make the news?
Or is it that female sex toys are designed to be more easily handled, hence not get stuck?

Could be a fun discussion.

 

[Kev45]

Yet I wonder how many women have been treated with foriegn objects stuck in an oriface.
Does that even make the news?
Or is it that female sex toys are designed to be more easily handled, hence not get stuck?

Could be a fun discussion.

Didn't you state you worked in the sex industry yesterday, surely you will know all the answers to this?

 

[WickedPerdition]

A&E department celebrates treating one-millionth man with foreign object stuck up his arse​

Staff at an Accident and Emergency Department in Swansea were cracking open the champagne yesterday after treating their one-millionth man with a foreign object stuck up his jacksie.

The hard-working doctors and nurses at Swansea General Hospital were over the moon at reaching such an incredible milestone.

Nurse Annie Oldiron said, “It really does make this job worthwhile, knowing that we’ve managed to help so many poor, unfortunate men who have, through no fault of their own, found themselves with something strange stuck up their bottoms.

“Usually something like one of those little deodorant spray bottles.”

“Yes, it’s incredible how many different ways these men find themselves with one of those things stuck up their nipsies,” confirmed Doctor Hans Orf, who has personally treated many of these hapless souls.

“Sometimes they’re cleaning the bathroom in the buff when they accidentally sit down on a deodorant spray and the top comes off. Or they’re cleaning the bathroom in the buff when they accidentally slip and land on a deodorant spray and the top comes off. Now and again, on the odd rare occasion, we even have someone in who says that they’ve deliberately shoved a deodorant spray up their arses just to see what it’s like – but we don’t tend to believe those ones, I mean, who would do that?”

“It never ceases to amaze me how this only ever seems to happen to men,” added Nurse Oldiron.

“I guess it’s because women never clean their bathrooms in the buff. That’s the only reason I can think of.”
TY@NT

I have the most apt reply to this nonsense .... UP YOURS!

 

[Moriarty]

Didn't you state you worked in the sex industry yesterday, surely you will know all the answers to this?

You have a point?

 

[Kev45]

You have a point?

Did you miss the point?

If you have had a career in the sex industry, as you clearly stated you have, then surely you would have at least some knowledge of the sex toys both men and women play with, being tools of the trade so to speak?

 

[Moriarty]

Did you miss the point?

If you have had a career in the sex industry, as you clearly stated you have, then surely you would have at least some knowledge of the sex toys both men and women play with, being tools of the trade so to speak?

I simply asked a question.
Are there similar stats from government sources which give a case number for both sexes.
We do after all live in a society which values equality.
Should we not care for everyone equally if they are inserting things into themselves and costing the taxpayer money?
Simply asking for clarity.
By the way, working in the sex industry, one doesnt use toys that much, tends to be more physical if you didnt know.

 

[Kev45]

I simply asked a question.
Are there similar stats from government sources which give a case number for both sexes.
We do after all live in a society which values equality.
Should we not care for everyone equally if they are inserting things into themselves and costing the taxpayer money?
Simply asking for clarity.
By the way, working in the sex industry, one doesnt use toys that much, tends to be more physical if you didnt know.

Yet another pious sermon.

Sex toys are not used that much in the sex industry, really?

LOL!

Was your career in the sex industry based in a monastery?

 

[Kev45]

one doesnt use toys that much

Except for...

Spreader Bars & Yokes. Collars. A*** Hook. Arm Binders. Gags. Pleasure Tape. Cuffs. Tools For Impact Play. BDSM Floggers. BDSM Whips. BDSM Paddles. Canes. Outfits. Fetish Wear. Catsuits. Latex Dresses. Harnesses. Hoods. Masks. BDSM Gear for females. ****y Pumps. Chastity Belt. Speculums. ****le clamps. ****s. S&M Toys. C*** Cages. U******* Sounds. P**** plugs. Estim + Electrosex Toys.​

Etc.

... tends to be more physical if you didnt know.

No, I didn't know.

But wait... didn't you claim to be a professional sex worker, specifically specialising in the BDSM scene? Which isn't necessarily just about "physicality" and male "penetration" anyway. Which of course includes sensory deprivation and or sensory overload, and which can also involve all the above sex toys specifically in relation to the BDSM scene and far too many more to list.

The problem with the lower middle class, is that they watched 50 Shades of Grey (absolute pile of stinky sh*te), and believed that they were a bit "edgy" because they then thought (wrongly) that they understood the BDSM scene.

 

[NickUK]

Except for...what appears to be some sort of sex toy fill in the blanks puzzle...a few have me stumped you gonna print the solution?

 

[Kev45]

No. Just in case they break the site, TOU. Do not try them alone at home unless you are under medical supervision. Always wear protection and stay safe out there.

If a sweaty red-faced fat man violently throws you on the bed and plops out his banana, telling you it's what BDSM is, ring 999 immediately.

 

[WickedPerdition]

Except for...

Spreader Bars & Yokes. Collars. A*** Hook. Arm Binders. Gags. Pleasure Tape. Cuffs. Tools For Impact Play. BDSM Floggers. BDSM Whips. BDSM Paddles. Canes. Outfits. Fetish Wear. Catsuits. Latex Dresses. Harnesses. Hoods. Masks. BDSM Gear for females. ****y Pumps. Chastity Belt. Speculums. ****le clamps. ****s. S&M Toys. C*** Cages. U******* Sounds. P**** plugs. Estim + Electrosex Toys.​

Etc.

We all know now what you do in your spare time ...

 

[Kev45]

Except on a Sunday, Sunday is fully booked and when I get to masquerade as a tolerant, forgiving and well-balanced individual who devoutly follows the Lord's instruction. The rest of the week I get to be a whip wielding, judgemental, sanctimonious chunt, who openly sneers at anyone else who doesn't share my religious beliefs.

I mean, just look at my picture, I really am the epitome of smug arrogance!

 

[WickedPerdition]

Except on a Sunday, Sunday is fully booked and when I get to masquerade as a tolerant, forgiving and well-balanced individual who devoutly follows the Lord's instruction. The rest of the week I get to be a whip wielding, judgemental, sanctimonious chunt, who openly sneers at anyone else who doesn't share my religious beliefs.

I mean, just look at my picture, I really am the epitome of smug arrogance!

I used the same face mask, with added Hyaluronic acid, and look what it did for me!
In future, I'll stick to L'Oréal ... 'cos I'm worth it'.
I'm grateful that you reply in good humour , unlike so many others, and don't take personal offence by my point of view.

 

[Moriarty]

Except for...

Spreader Bars & Yokes. Collars. A*** Hook. Arm Binders. Gags. Pleasure Tape. Cuffs. Tools For Impact Play. BDSM Floggers. BDSM Whips. BDSM Paddles. Canes. Outfits. Fetish Wear. Catsuits. Latex Dresses. Harnesses. Hoods. Masks. BDSM Gear for females. ****y Pumps. Chastity Belt. Speculums. ****le clamps. ****s. S&M Toys. C*** Cages. U******* Sounds. P**** plugs. Estim + Electrosex Toys.​

Etc.




No, I didn't know.

But wait... didn't you claim to be a professional sex worker, specifically specialising in the BDSM scene? Which isn't necessarily just about "physicality" and male "penetration" anyway. Which of course includes sensory deprivation and or sensory overload, and which can also involve all the above sex toys specifically in relation to the BDSM scene and far too many more to list.

The problem with the lower middle class, is that they watched 50 Shades of Grey (absolute pile of stinky sh*te), and believed that they were a bit "edgy" because they then thought (wrongly) that they understood the BDSM scene.

Damn you really went to town.
I was never a "Professional Sex Worker" lmao.
Do you understand the BDSM scene?

I do love you went for the 50 shades of grey, I do love that movie, it's comedy gold.
In life things are simple, people have desires.
They have impulses.
Some of them are not "Socially acceptable" whatever that means when its consenting adults.
The first, main rule of any BDSM interaction is a safe word or action if they are gagged.
Then its the fantasy of the person in charge, the person who wants it done to them.

The BDSM scene has nothing to do with actually torturing people, or breaking them, it's about what they want.
They are always in ultimate control of whatever is done to them.

People want to expore thier kinks, its something we do as human beings, explore, question, desire.

I do chuckle at your "Lower middle class" reference, in my experience that doesnt happen.
All the people I met in the BDSM scene were wealthy, it's a purview of the opulant.

To me, it always struck of an arrogance that they could explore themselves above and beyond what the "Normal" people could, they could indulge their fetishes because they had the wealth to be elitist and savour the pleasure it gave them.

Basically, they were bored.
Always remember that people will look for more and more extreme forms of hedonism in thier sex lives if they are inclined and they can.
Money facilitates that.

 

[Kev45]

Damn you really went to town.

What? I merely posted an example of a few "sex toys" used in the BDSM scene and in response to your statement sex toys were "rarely" used in the BDSM scene because it was "more physical, if you know what I mean".

All the people I met in the BDSM scene were wealthy, it's a purview of the opulant.

Yes of course they were darling, in your personal experience of course, but of course the vast majority of practitioners of BDSM, are normal people, in normal jobs, and on normal wages.

I was never a "Professional Sex Worker" lmao.

Yet you STATED that you had a "career" in the BDSM scene, but now you claim that you were not a professional sex worker.

Let me take an educated guess, you were an "employer", an "arranger", or an "organiser"?

Do you understand the BDSM scene?

I'll bet that you 'think' you "understand" the BDSM scene now that you have taken a few days to google it.

I do chuckle at your "Lower middle class" reference, in my experience that doesnt happen.

Well it wouldn't, "in your experience", would it, because your experience is always bigger, better, and shinier than anyone else.

The BDSM scene has nothing to do with actually torturing people, or breaking them, it's about what they want

Rather random comment, but what makes you assume, that the complex BDSM scene is solely centred around the "sadomasochist" element?

To me, it always struck of an arrogance that they could explore themselves above and beyond what the "Normal" people could, they could indulge their fetishes because they had the wealth to be elitist and savour the pleasure it gave them.

What on earth are you referring to here, because it certainly isn't the totally "normal" BDSM scene?

In life things are simple, people have desires.
They have impulses.
Some of them are not "Socially acceptable" whatever that means when its consenting adults.

Thanks for taking the time to explain what other people think.

You believe that BDSM is about "impulses", really?



As you also claim to be a masters educated "psychologist" could you kindly post a link to some evidence to support this assertion?

 

[TwoWhalesInAPool]

What? I merely posted an example of a few "sex toys" used in the BDSM scene and in response to your statement sex toys were "rarely" used in the BDSM scene because it was "more physical, if you know what I mean".



Yes of course they were darling, in your personal experience of course, but of course the vast majority of practitioners of BDSM, are normal people, in normal jobs, and on normal wages.



Yet you STATED that you had a "career" in the BDSM scene, but now you claim that you were not a professional sex worker.

Let me take an educated guess, you were an "employer", an "arranger", or an "organiser"?



I'll bet that you 'think' you "understand" the BDSM scene now that you have taken a few days to google it.



Well it wouldn't, "in your experience", would it, because your experience is always bigger, better, and shinier than anyone else.



Rather random comment, but what makes you assume, that the complex BDSM scene is solely centred around the "sadomasochist" element?



What on earth are you referring to here, because it certainly isn't the totally "normal" BDSM scene?



Thanks for taking the time to explain what other people think.

You believe that BDSM is about "impulses", really?



As you also claim to be a masters educated "psychologist" could you kindly post a link to some evidence to support this assertion?

+

 

[Moriarty]

What? I merely posted an example of a few "sex toys" used in the BDSM scene and in response to your statement sex toys were "rarely" used in the BDSM scene because it was "more physical, if you know what I mean".



Yes of course they were darling, in your personal experience of course, but of course the vast majority of practitioners of BDSM, are normal people, in normal jobs, and on normal wages.



Yet you STATED that you had a "career" in the BDSM scene, but now you claim that you were not a professional sex worker.

Let me take an educated guess, you were an "employer", an "arranger", or an "organiser"?



I'll bet that you 'think' you "understand" the BDSM scene now that you have taken a few days to google it.



Well it wouldn't, "in your experience", would it, because your experience is always bigger, better, and shinier than anyone else.



Rather random comment, but what makes you assume, that the complex BDSM scene is solely centred around the "sadomasochist" element?



What on earth are you referring to here, because it certainly isn't the totally "normal" BDSM scene?



Thanks for taking the time to explain what other people think.

You believe that BDSM is about "impulses", really?



As you also claim to be a masters educated "psychologist" could you kindly post a link to some evidence to support this assertion?

"Thanks for taking the time to explain what other people think.
You believe that BDSM is about "impulses", really?
As you also claim to be a masters educated "psychologist" could you kindly post a link to some evidence to support this assertion?"

Take a minute.
Read that qoute.

If you want data at least do a cursory look at basic interpretation like Psychology Today, a basic explanation for most psychological terms.

The Surprising Psychology of BDSM

After that, try checking out the "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder's"
Tends to be viewed as the handbook for psychological research.